LEAN BACK, LET HIM CLAIM YOU
The challenge is that men and women think about relationships from opposite sides of the same coin. It feels like it’s oppositional and competitive when you don’t understand how the other thinks, but once you get it, you realize that we’re actually complimentary and synergistic.
“Leaning back” to a man who doesn’t understand women feels like rejection or manipulation. To a man who understands women (or to the man who sees her as “the one” rather than simply a conquest), there isn’t anything he won’t do to do to prove he’s the one for her.
I’ve felt that way about a woman, and I felt it from the first date. The connection on all levels was beyond my ability to describe. The chemistry was palpable and later she told me how powerful her reaction was that she kept under wraps at the start.
I has no intention of leaving her guessing how I felt. I took her off the path we were on, put one hand around her waist, the other behind her head, looked into her eyes and said, “I’m going to kiss you” – and did.
(Tip for men: You don’t ask, you don’t wait for her invitation, you risk everything and lead with intention.
You’ll know if you read the moment right by her response.
If you risk it all and fail it means you’ve got work to do, but if you understand women, read the signs and take the initiative, you’ll create a moment she’ll never forget.
It’s a mans job to take that risk, not the woman’s responsibility to remove it by asking.)
We were texting each other on our way home and couldn’t wait to be back together, but she had a ’10 Date Rule’ and was the kind of woman who had very sophisticated standards in general. As a man who was absolutely committed to claiming her and demonstrating how powerfully I felt, I created a plan that would combine her 10 Date Rule with my willingness to claim her.
So I told her to clear her schedule for the entire next day.
I planned 9 dates in one day starting with meeting her for breakfast. They were 9 of the most amazing dates because this woman was worth pulling out every stop for. What had previously taken two months for any man to arrive at happened the second day, but still within the dignity of the boundaries she had clearly established.
So lean back…I will gladly show how far I will go and how much I will give. I will show up with such confidence that you won’t be able to get me out of your mind- not for a minute, not for a second, not for one moment until you feel yourself claimed by a man who sees you as his one and only.
Too many men think that women are in control of the sexual timeline, but when a man shows up in full magnificence of his purposeful energy every ‘lock’ that a woman has in place bursts open.
She can every ‘safety measure’ in place, it makes no difference. Her curfew vanishes, her ‘friend waiting’ is told to make other plans, her intentional lack of grooming or date-worthy lingerie becomes a minor detail, even the awkwardness of the wrong time of the month become meaningless in response to a man of remarkable intention who makes a woman feel safe, uniquely spectacular and the object of his unyielding desire.
I want a woman who knows that in order to be certain of a man’s intentions she must lean back, so lean back as far as you like. If you end up leaning back so far that you’re falling, if you’re the one I desire I’ll charge in, wrap my arms around you, pull you close and let you know that when I’m there I will never – not ever – let you fall.
There’s nothing I wouldn’t do to keep you safe and nothing I’d rather experience than you wrapped safely in my strong loving arms.
Lean back, and settle for nothing less than a man that makes you feel this adored and desired every day without exception and without excuse.
(Ladies, that’s your risk, to lean back- and take the chance that you won’t inspire us to pursue. If we don’t you either weren’t the one or have your own work to do.)
Graham R White